The Day that Changed Everything

If you knew me in High school I was a "Mean Girl", I still can be from time to time. While others were planning their futures which included husband's and families I was firm in the fact that I was never going to get married let alone have kids. Fast forward to today and I've been married for 8 years and have 2 wonderful boys.

Let's go back 12 years ago to when I first started dating my husband. Our first date if you could call it that, was at a sleazy bar. It was St. Paddy's day and I had convinced him to join me for a drink. From that drunken evening we didn't look back. We were engaged a few weeks later and the idea of never being married went out the window. We had a long engagement, almost 4 years. We weren't in any rush to tie the knot, but we just knew we were meant to be together.

Now let's move to 3 weeks before our wedding. I had just started a new job a few months prior and was stressed to the max with wedding details. (If there is any regret at all, it's that we planned a wedding and didn't elope like we wanted to). I had just finished my final alteration for my dress and was having it taken in a few inches. Everything seemed to be in place. Here comes the wrench in our plans. I wasn't feeling the greatest, I was in pain. I thought for sure a cyst had ruptured. My boss told me to go to hospital. It was right up the street from the office. So off I went. I sat for hours. They asked all the regular questions. Are you pregnant to which I replied "hell no". My husband met me at the hospital when he got done from work. We waited what seemed for hours and finally got to see the doctor. The doctor came in and said "congratulations you're pregnant". My heart sank. I thought maybe at this time I was just pregnant and something could be done, I still had choices right? I didn't want kids, I wasn't ready for kids. I had millions of thoughts go through my mind. Terrible thoughts like maybe I would have a miscarriage. That's when the doctor dropped the bomb that I was about 20 weeks pregnant and would need to go for an ultrasound. 20 weeks how on earth did that happen?

So I go for the ultrasound it turns out I'm 24 weeks pregnant. That's 6 months pregnant. For 6 months I grew a tiny human in me and had no clue. I remember watching that TV show "I didn't know I was pregnant" and thinking to myself "how is that even possible? How did these women not know?". I was one of those women. So now I have 3 months to prepare for a baby. A baby I never wanted. My life was going to change drastically. My hubby was over the moon excited, so many people were excited. There were many that weren't happy about it either, and I was one of them. I didn't have a maternal bone in my body. I was not ready for this.

Fast forward to the day my son was born. I never knew I could love something I had hated the thought of so much. The minute I held him I felt like the Grinch when his heart grew three sizes. I loved that baby with every inch of my being. I would do anything for that baby.

Forward again to almost 6 years later, something I thought couldn't be possible, My Heart grew exponentially larger as my Second Son was born. 

And so the Day that Changed everything,  changed me too...

~Mommy Dearest


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