The Day the Magic Died: Parenting Advice I Wish I was Given

Whether you are expecting a child or already have some you know too well that advice comes from every which angle whether it be wanted or not. Some of it may be useful and some you will literally roll your eyes at. As a parent you truly rely on your gut instinct and really just hope for the best. It really is a learning curve like no other. It's something that I can't even truly describe as it's different for everyone. 

As a Mother of two boy's I am still learning new things each and everyday and I've been doing this for almost 9 years. As parents we celebrate the milestone's our children reach; their first words, steps, the first tooth they lose and the list goes on. With each celebration comes a little sadness as you are watching your child grow and develop new skills you also know deep down inside that they are becoming more and more independent and growing up.

Something that no parenting book, online article, or milestone celebration could prepare me for, was the day the Magic would Die...

It happened just last week, April 3rd to be exact. A day I won't soon forget. My oldest just turned 8 years old at the end of December. He has always been a loving, free spirited child that exudes innocence. We were doing our bed time routine when he turned to me and said


 "Mom, I'm pretty sure that the Easter Bunny, Tooth Fairy, and Santa Claus are just the mom's and dad's".

I stood there frozen in my tracks, light a deer caught in the headlights. No No No how could this be happening now? I knew deep down that one day this would happen, one day he would discover the truth, but I wasn't prepared for it. I wasn't prepared for how devastated I would feel about it. I quickly asked him why he thought that. 

He went into a long story about how he has never heard or seen them and he is pretty sure that parents are sneaky enough to be those things. He said parents probably just keep the kids teeth in a jar somewhere (I am one of those parents and have since moved my jar of teeth).

I quickly explained that there are many people believe in things that they can't see or hear, yet they still believe. At one point I used God as an example. (Not my finest work, and I should not have used that analogy at all. It led to way more questions that I was certainly not prepared to answer) We talked about movies like The Polar Express, I tried to use everything I could think of. He was still keen on his theory.

Without making it too obvious I tried to dig a little further and see what brought this on. He said that he had a conversation with one of his friends from school at the Easter Egg hunt. (Damn) I then tried the adage "if you don't believe you don't receive" he looked at me and said honestly (as most children are) "I want to get the stuff, but I don't know if I totally believe". - insert heart ache here


I was still at a loss, I had seen those Facebook videos circulating at Christmas time where parents "pass the torch" and their child becomes a Santa. But it was two days after Easter. What was I to do? I could come clean at this moment, but what if I crush him more because he is still sitting on the fence?

I simply explained that it was fine if he didn't believe anymore, but he needed to keep it a secret. - I didn't need him going to school in the morning and declaring that Santa, the Tooth Fairy and the Easter bunny aren't real. I could envision the angry text messages from parents, the Facebook posts. I was not a pretty picture. He asked why - I just said it wouldn't be fair to tell everyone because some people really believe and it's not up to us to question their faith in something. 

I was still broken inside. My baby was growing up. It was one step closer to losing that innocence.

Before he went to sleep that night he told me that he hoped the Elf on the Shelf brings back the Reindeer Pet. - Inside I was laughing a little. He didn't want to believe in a fairy that takes teeth, a bunny that leaves chocolate, or a Fat Man in red leaving presents but he believed in an Elf that thrived on Christmas Magic?!?

I didn't pry anymore, I won't bring it up again. I'll let him come to me. I have until next Christmas to figure this all out, or at least until the next tooth falls out. I need to come up with a better way to approach this. For now I still have my youngest who is starting to believe and understand. I wish someone would have warned me about this. 

What did you do when your kids told you they didn't believe anymore?

~ Mommy Dearest

Comments

  1. It's always a sad day when our kids grow up :(

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    1. It really is. I never expected me to hit me this hard though.

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  2. we have all been there as kids, I can't really remember my parents' reaction when I told them about a friend telling me the truth about Santa at school.. haha
    http://www.malibluemymind.com/2018/04/no-more-drama-adrianna.html

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  3. It's so hard to be a parent, as there is no magic way or schooling for that. Thank you, for such a wonderful post.

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  4. I have a few more years until then since my oldest is not quite 5 yet. But I feel like we will tell him similar that even if he doesn't believe, others do and it's a secret. Then he can help keep the magic alive for his little brother in the mean time.

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  5. My friends kid asked my husband and I this question when we were traveling with them once. It was so hard and she didn't know what to say, so we told him the truth. And then we welcomed him to adulthood and said now he got to be part of the lie. It sucks but it's good his questioning

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  6. I just cant. I dont want to think about this at all! My daughter is 4... i dont know if she really believes were not huge on the holiday magical icon people .. but im sure she will suorise me with this one day and ill be speechless..

    Also thank you for being amazing and asking him not to spoil others imaginations.. i have a 11 year old nephew that still believes in Santa ♡

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  7. Excellent viewpoint. I love where you are coming from with this. Thanks for the encouraging words!!

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  8. Oh I DREAD this day, my baby girl is 2 and I'm trying to enjoy every moment of this magical time - Tonya Michelle

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  9. I dont have kids but I for sure remember when I stopped believing. I remember my parents feeling a little let down after the magic had died but at the same time they let me start participating in the "santa" and "tooth fairy" duties and that was just as much fun!!

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  10. This definitely seems or sounds scary but I guess we gotta keep the magic alive as long as we can.

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  11. i think that if we grownups keep some sparks of magic truly alive within , it does not have to be santa , just the sense of wonder for life, children will feel it and believe it! :)

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  12. Well right now I am at the borderline with my daughter. She's 12 and the last I knew she still acted like Santa and the Easter Bunny existed. If she knows the magic is gone, then she's not telling me for my sake or hers. But last I knew she still was defending Santas existence. I do know the time is coming though.

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  13. Something every parent has to go through I'm afraid! I remember not being so disappointed when I found out, but my older sister and I tried to keep our little sister believing as long as possible.

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